A game for the ages...

Normally I avoid discussing in detail the "hot topics" of the week or day because we can usually get our fill of Ohio vs. Michigan highlights or updates on Soriano's absurd contract (this contract may in fact deserve it's own column). In this case, I'm going to make an exception because I was privileged enough to watch one of the most entertaining and absolutely hilarious endings to a football game in my short history on this earth.

The game was Chargers at Broncos, the Sunday night matchup televised on NBC. While I'm sure watching Tomlinson score an unprecedented four times for the second week in a row was thrilling (especially for those fantasy owners lucky enough to have him), the true fun began with a little over three minutes left when Plummer threw an interception on 4th and 4 and the Broncos already down by one. (Side note: That had to be one of the ugliest picks ever because frankly, I don't think Plummer could even see his receiver given the corner back was standing literally right in between the two.)

Chargers, now with possession, are undoubtedly going to give the ball to LT so that they can both run down the clock and hopefully extend the lead. On LT's second run he tries to cut through the hole between the left guard and tackle but is confronted by six defenders. None of them make that tackle. That's right, if you watch the replay six defenders come within a foot of him (more than half got a hand or body part on him) and he still escaped for a 1st down. O but this is just the beginning my friend…

After some smart runs that allowed San Diego to run the clock down a little more, LT pounded the ball in from the one for his fourth score. On the extra point Denver was charged with 15 yards on the kickoff because of unnecessary roughness. My friends and I balked at the stupidity of this play.....that is until less than a minute later when another Denver player was hit with an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty before they even kicked off, pushing them back 15 yards further.

My eyes opened wide and my mouth went parch. 30 yard bonus on the kickoff!!! The Chargers were kicking from the Broncos 40 yard line! I had always dreamed of such an event on Madden where I could then kick the ball straight up and have it land within the 20 (optimally within the 5) and have my defenders inches away from the return man as soon as he caught it. Well Denver had two options: Try my crazy stunt or try and kick the ball out of the stadium considering their incredible field position and the thin air of Denver.

Marty Shottenheimer has a tendency to be overly conservative (watch their game in week 4 against the Ravens) but has also done some crazy shit (oddly enough you can see both sides of bipolar Marty in that very game against the Ravens) so I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for the kickoff.

Sure enough up in the air goes the ball in an arch that lands it one yard deep into the end zone...touchback....right? No! A Denver returner stumbles to catch the ball and falls to the ground at the two yard line. What motivated him to make such a completely illogical play I don't know (Current hypothesizes include: having unyielding fetish to catch football, not loved as a child, and possible brain tumor). Either way, the play sent me jumping in the air laughing and nearly falling over my common room couch. I have by no means any affiliation with the Chargers (or Broncos for that matter) but I applauded San Diego's sneaky tactics that evidently worked on a Broncos team that in the past two minutes had shown the decision making ability equivalent to Britney Spears with a BAC>.20.

Sure enough Denver wasn't finished, committing a penalty on their first play and gaining a total of 4 yards in the next two plays, forcing a 4th and long within their own 10 yard line. Then, it was if the Broncos sneezed upon the Chargers and thereby transferred the disease of stupidity to their opponents.

28 yard pass to Javon Walker followed by an immediate spiking of the ball. As the ball was being spiked Denver's center stumbled forward in a pathetic attempt to pretend as if he were blocking San Diego's defensive tackle, Olshansky. The move was pointless but it succeeded in making Olshansky stutter step and nearly fall over and for some reason that was enough to provoke Olshansky to punch Denver's center in the head! That's right; they showed it on replay multiple times as Olshansky completely over reacts and nails the center with his forearm as if it were a hammer. Suddenly I felt like we were watching the WWE…except better…cause it was real…and there weren’t half naked men jumping on each other…and…cause it was real!

Of course the next series of shots were equally amusing as Shottenheimer goes John Gibbons on Olshansky, getting in his face and calling him out in the middle of the field on national television. Though Shottenheimer didn’t challenge his player to a fight like the uber-macho Gibbons, I still gave him credit for yelling his head off at a guy who looked capable of eating someone’s children. My friends were ecstatic and I had begun laughing hysterically and clapping my hands like a monkey with cymbals. Truly we were watching history!

After a successful pass, this one for about 15 yards, San Diego gets penalized for delay of game. Sure enough, on a quick replay we see the San Diego cornerback throwing the ball 5 yards from the spot after making the tackle.

Unbelievable.

Denver was now on San Diego's 32 yard line with 3-4 legitimate chances to hurl the ball into the end zone. On the next play though, Plummer fumbles on a sack and though Denver recovers (after one of those sequences where multiple players fall on the ball and it inexplicably escapes there grasps...those are always fun to watch) there is too little time left to run another play. The recovering lineman could've knocked the ball out of bounds instead of falling on it to stop the clock but by now we had realized that the game had deteriorated to Pee-Wee level and that we were just two plays away from seeing a player randomly run off the field to their mother because they got a “boo-boo”.

Despite the lack of a thrilling hail-mary pass, the game was certainly a bright spot in an otherwise uneventful Sunday Night. Truly we witnessed a game for the record books and hopefully LT's 4 td's (including his 100th total) will vault this game onto ESPN Classic so that we can experience the debauchery all over again.

The Top 25, Week 12

1. Ohio State	12	0
2. USC	9	1
3. Florida	10	1
4. Michigan	11	1
5. Arkansas	10	1
6. Notre Dame	10	1
7. Louisville	9	1
8. West Virginia	9	1
9. Wisconsin	11	1
10. Virginia Tech	9	2
11. Oklahoma	9	2
12. LSU	9	2
13. Boise State	11	0
14. Boston College	9	2
15. Texas	9	2
16. BYU	9	2
17. Rutgers	9	1
18. Auburn	10	2
19. Georgia Tech	9	2
20. Tennessee	8	3
21. California	8	3
22. Hawaii	9	2
23. Wake Forest	9	2
24. Clemson	8	3
25. Nebraska	8	3

Finally, the national championship picture begins to clarify itself. It's down to USC and Florida, hopefully, since even if I don't think either team will beat Ohio State, they may hold their own, unlike Notre Dame or Arkansas. I think Michigan is still the second best team in the country, but I will drop them to #4 to make room for other championship contenders. USC ranks over Florida right now with an impressive beatdown of Cal. However, if both teams win out, one of them is going to rightfully feel gypped.
Notre Dame ranks sixth, because I don't really consider them to be a strong championship contender. Their biggest wins are against Georgia Tech and Penn State, which aren't much to write home about given the profiles of the other contenders. Even Arkansas has blowout wins over Auburn and Tennessee. They nearly lost to mediocre teams in Michigan State and UCLA and were exposed, to say the least, by Michigan. Even if Notre Dame knocks off USC, I don't see how you could rank them above a team with the same record who beat them 47-21. I have a lot of qualms about Arkansas too, whose 50-14 loss to USC may not concern a lot of analysts, but concerns me. What teams have walked away from a season-opening blowout loss of that magnitude and gone on to be legit national championship contenders? Arkansas actually has more of a shot than Notre Dame, as if they beat LSU and Florida, and Notre Dame beats USC, they could be ranked ahead of USC, given that they would at least have a better win-loss record. But would the pollsters give them the bid over Notre Dame in that scenario? Notre Dame really should have no better shot at the title than 11-1 Wisconsin, who at least gave Michigan more of a game than the Fighting Irish. Alright, I exaggerate a little bit, given Wisconsin's soft non-conference schedule. But I certainly feel that Notre Dame is much closer in quality to Wisconsin than it is to Ohio State or Michigan.
As for the rest of my poll, I want to give props to Virginia Tech and Oklahoma, who rank among the hottest teams in college football, yet are being slightly ignored due to the hubbub over Ohio State-Michigan and the title picture in general. Virginia Tech has blown out Clemson (24-7) and Wake Forest (27-6), and Oklahoma rides a 6-game winning streak. I rank Oklahoma ahead of Texas despite the head-to-head result between the teams, as this poll is more of a power poll anyways.
Further credit to BYU and Hawaii, who are absolutely steamrolling the Mountain West and WAC respectively. BYU is certainly a legit team, as Boston College will attest to (30-23 overtime victors).